Squeal like a pig.....

Oh man what an exciting few days we have had.  After my disappointment at not being able to go “Zip Lining” through some state park in Tennessee, and having to pass on Dollywood (yes your eyes do not deceive you, Dolly Parton has a fun park in Seiverville, Tennessee called Dollywood).  I had my heart set on it but couldn’t convince Shano and Gracelene to come with me and  I thought it would be pretty desperate of me to go alone (although I was still a little tempted I have to admit).  It is just that people look at you funny if you go to children's places on your own.  Heaven forbid, I have been known to attack an old man or two when they were looking suspiciously alone around a children’s playground  - only of course to then realize they had grandkids on the monkey bars.  Ooops.  So Dollywood was out to the question and in an attempt to appease a tantrum throwing Karli, Shano suggested Tubing (or Toooobing as it is pronounced here) – as in my last post. 

Unfortunately, the weather was not conducive to fulfilling my dream of becoming a world champion tuber.  Oohhh, I hear you say.  Please, I am sure I was saved from having severe gravel rash on my arse as it dragged relentlessly on the bottom of the rocky stream. I have seen it happen before and it is not a pretty sight. Trust me.  

Well in lieu of that, Shano decided on a scenic route to our next location.  Let me tell you about Kentucky- it is amazingly beautiful with its rolling green fields, white fences and huge farmhouses.  The kind of place you can see yourself just moving right into.  Now let me tell you about the OTHER Kentucky that Shano and I discovered.  One wrong turn and we found ourselves cruising the Deliverance Highway to Hillbilly-ville, whilst listening to Toothless FM.  Picture Deliverance meets Wolf Creek and back drop it with a little banjo music and you will pretty much have it.  Oh dear God.  Lord knows I was terrified for our lives.  Every time Shano slowed down to turn a corner I would lock the doors and tell Grace to hide under a towel.  OK so maybe a slight exaggeration but you get the picture.  I was very pleased to see the main interstate stretch into view on the horizon.  Phew! Boy did we dodge a bullet.

After that ordeal, we made sure we didn’t follow any thin grey lines on the map and headed to Virginia.  We were happily driving along singing some crappy Alan Jackson song (I am slowly learning all the words to a number of crappy country songs – ssshhhh don’t tell anyone) when our blissful broadcast was interrupted with a weather announcement: a tornado warning!!!  What the……?  For those of you who have been following the whole blog, you may recall how I forced poor Shano to abort all Kansas sightseeing due to my paranoia about tornados.  And now 3 days from the end of our RV trip we are faced with a tornado warning IN VIRGINIA, right where we happened to be.  Come on!  Well needless to say, I am still here to tell the story and there was no requirement to ditch Big Bertha and hide under a bridge or chain ourselves inside a barn (reference to Twister, the worlds most realistic movie/documentary about tornados- please note sarcasm).  Funnily enough I do feel a tad disappointed.  It just goes to prove that crap will follow you anywhere – especially if you are scared of it.  xxx