Oh man what an exciting few days we have had. After my disappointment at not being able to
go “Zip Lining” through some state park in Tennessee, and having to pass on
Dollywood (yes your eyes do not deceive you, Dolly Parton has a fun park in
Seiverville, Tennessee called Dollywood).
I had my heart set on it but couldn’t convince Shano and Gracelene to
come with me and I thought it would be
pretty desperate of me to go alone (although I was still a little tempted I
have to admit). It is just that people
look at you funny if you go to children's places on your own. Heaven forbid, I have been known to attack an
old man or two when they were looking suspiciously alone around a children’s
playground - only of course to then
realize they had grandkids on the monkey bars.
Ooops. So Dollywood was out to
the question and in an attempt to appease a tantrum throwing Karli, Shano
suggested Tubing (or Toooobing as it is pronounced here) – as in my last
post.
Unfortunately, the weather was not conducive to fulfilling
my dream of becoming a world champion tuber.
Oohhh, I hear you say. Please, I
am sure I was saved from having severe gravel rash on my arse as it dragged
relentlessly on the bottom of the rocky stream. I have seen it happen before
and it is not a pretty sight. Trust me.
Well in lieu of that, Shano decided on a scenic route to our
next location. Let me tell you about
Kentucky- it is amazingly beautiful with its rolling green fields, white
fences and huge farmhouses. The kind of
place you can see yourself just moving right into. Now let me tell you about the OTHER Kentucky
that Shano and I discovered. One wrong
turn and we found ourselves cruising the Deliverance Highway to Hillbilly-ville, whilst listening to Toothless FM.
Picture Deliverance meets Wolf Creek and back drop it with a little
banjo music and you will pretty much have it.
Oh dear God. Lord knows I was
terrified for our lives. Every time
Shano slowed down to turn a corner I would lock the doors and tell Grace to
hide under a towel. OK so maybe a slight
exaggeration but you get the picture. I
was very pleased to see the main interstate stretch into view on the horizon. Phew! Boy did we dodge a bullet.
After that ordeal, we made sure we didn’t follow any thin
grey lines on the map and headed to Virginia.
We were happily driving along singing some crappy Alan Jackson song (I
am slowly learning all the words to a number of crappy country songs – ssshhhh
don’t tell anyone) when our blissful broadcast was interrupted with a weather
announcement: a tornado warning!!! What
the……? For those of you who have been
following the whole blog, you may recall how I forced poor Shano to abort all
Kansas sightseeing due to my paranoia about tornados. And now 3 days from the end of our RV trip we
are faced with a tornado warning IN VIRGINIA, right where we happened to be.
Come on! Well needless to say, I
am still here to tell the story and there was no requirement to ditch Big
Bertha and hide under a bridge or chain ourselves inside a barn (reference to Twister,
the worlds most realistic movie/documentary about tornados- please note sarcasm). Funnily enough I do feel a tad
disappointed. It just goes to prove that
crap will follow you anywhere – especially if you are scared of it. xxx
I can't believe you missed out on Dollywood!! I would have gone for the gift shop alone, imagine what you could have bought. I reckon you would look totally hot in a bouffant blond wig singing along to your newly purchased "Best of Dolly Parton" cd.
ReplyDeleteOf all the words to spell wrong, guess I am the one having a "blonde" moment ;-)
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